My views on Gender issues

I know this will come up.  I will get people calling me misogynist and woman hater.  Not all women are like that.  You don’t understand feminism.  So this is what I believe.

There are two camps of feminism.  There are equality feminists.  The basic concept of equality feminists is that men and women are different, but these differences are not justification for unequal opportunities.  Equality feminists are fighting for equal opportunities.  The second camp are gender feminists.  This camp argues that men and women are the same.  Any difference in outcome is therefor a result of discrimination.  Gender feminists argue for equality of outcomes.

While I don’t agree with either camp, the overwhelming majority i don’t have a big problem with.  Equality feminists are lightly misguided with very poor word choices.  Equality feminists are just doing a poor job of arguing about very real problems.  Gender feminists are the problem with feminism.  Men and women are very different.  There are very real physical, mental and emotional differences between men and women.  These differences do affect outcomes.  Fighting for equality of outcome is harmful to both men and women.  Within the camp of gender feminists there are the hate filled bigots, advocating for truly horrible things.  Murder all male babies.  This is a small group within a small group.  This group is the activists.  This tiny minority is doing most of the advocating for women.  This group is formulating the language used.  This group is forming the legislation.  This group of hate filled bigots are becoming the face of feminism.

It is not “feminism” that is bad, but gender feminism.  It’s not feminism or even gender feminism that is hateful.  It is a small minority of a small minority that are hateful.  These are the women I oppose.  I know these women don’t speak for you.  Don’t let the claim they do, and don’t use the language they have put forward to try and support your positions.

My position is not that there should be equality between men and women.  This is a silly position.  It’s about like advocating for dog/tree equality.  It just does not make sence.  My position is simple.  I want to make these equations true.

Women’s Rights = Women’s responsibilities/obligations

and

Men’s Rights = Men’s responsibilities/obligations

This is how we will grow a just society.  Not by homogenizing the population, but by insuring that no group has rights that are not limited by obligations, and no obligations that are not supported by rights.

I know of many ways this equation is not balanced for women.  This equation has been being unbalanced since the very first actions of feminism.  The right to vote is balanced by the obligation to serve in a military capacity.  Men pay for the right to vote with blood and death.  Women do not.  The right to vote also comes with an obligation to follow the rules that are voted on.  Women have far lower conviction rates and sentences for the same crime.  Women do not have the same obligations that men do.  There are a multitude of other examples, but you get the point.

There are ways that the men’s rights equation is unbalanced as well.  Men are obligated to finance children whom they are little more than sperm donners for, but have almost no rights when it comes to child care, visitations, or even the choice to be a parent.  This is very unbalanced.

I know that this is not a complete list.  I do not doubt that there are responsibility that women bear not balanced by rights.  I know that there are rights that men have that are not balanced by responsibilities.  I am just as blind to my privilege as you are to yours.  If you can give clear examples and thought out explanations I would be happy to include them.  Note: “Male privileged” is not an example of unbalanced rights and responsibilities, but the assertion that there are unbalanced rights and responsibilities.

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13 thoughts on “My views on Gender issues”

  1. I have read a few posts and now your About page, but I still have no idea who you are. I am guessing you are a white male.

    Here’s where my concern lies:

    Why is it still taboo for men to even consider talking about equality issues?

    Women still have a long struggle ahead, and I sincerely believe this is not possible until men’s identities are better understood as a continuum between feminine and masculine extremes, if you will, not a dichotomy.

    • It is still taboo for men to talk about equality issues. I want my arguments to be judged on the basis of their quality, not my genitalia. I want my by beliefs to be scrutinized on merit, not my gender identity. I won’t tell you what race I am, because I want to be judged on my character, not my skin color. Do you think the color of my skin, my sexual orientation, or my genitalia actually has any impact on the quality of my positions?

      I agree that women still have “women’s issues”, and they need to be addressed.
      This does not exclude the possibility of “men’s issues” these issues exist to, and need to be addressed.

      I agree that there is a continuum between feminine and masculine, not a dichotomy. This is the same as for sexual orientation. There is not “pure gay” or “Pure Straight”, only a grey between.

      Why is it still taboo? FEMIN-ism.

      • “women still have “women’s issues””. This is why you can’t just sweep aside a movement like *that*. Women’s issues are everyone’s issues, just as men’s issues are everyone’s issues. We should all be disturbed at the disparity between how the world is experienced by men as it is by women, based on rights and basic treatment alone.

      • 50 years ago I would have agreed. 50 years ago saying that Feminism is for gender equality and helps men and women was an unproven assertion because feminism had just got started.
        We’ve had feminism for 50 years now as a major social movement. Feminism has had 50 years to fight for gender equality, and failed every single time. For 50 years feminism has been fighting for female privilege. We should be fighting for basic human rights for everyone. Feminism isn’t doing that.

  2. Great insight into distinguishing between equality and gender feminists. I believe that I can rationally and coherently explain why (gender) feminists are the way they are.

    I’m looking forward to looking at some more of your posts over the coming weeks.

    Cheers.

  3. I suspected as much, for both of us. I will be using her “War Against Boys” for my Part II post. She has such a beautiful mind – really benefitted from her books.

    Afraid it’s past my bedtime.

    Cheers.

  4. Hi, thanks for stopping by my blog (leaving such a condescending, rudely-worded comment, however was unappreciated; there was no need for that kind of tone. I appreciate its gist though, no sarcasm, because it made me realize how unclear I was in writing my post.)
    I was curious in seeing why “genderneutrallanguage” was commenting so one-sidedly, and I found a few clues in your bio here.
    It seems to me that you’re well-read in critiques of extremist feminism and extreme feminist ideals, but you seem to harbour a contempt for basic feminism that lies beyond facts and reason. Everything I’ve read on your blog seems to scramble for facts to back up your opinion of what a bad, demonic thing feminism is, without specifying groups or beliefs within the whole.

    When you demonize “Feminism”, you automatically delete the good things that feminism (as a movement) has achieved. Women’s suffrage. Women’s person-hood. Empowering women so that they can be active, not passive (“chattle”) members of society.

    When women still earn less than men for the same work, when they are still condemned for having abortions, when sexual harassment remains a predominantly women-survivor game, to wholly demonize feminism is to demonize the efforts of people to make women feel safe in a society that still caters to men.

    Please use care with your words, and what you critique. Don’t be unclear.

    • Women earn the same or more than men for the same work. There is different pay for different work. Not different pay for the same work. Now if you want to question why “women’s work” like teaching and nursing pay less, you can start making an actual point.

      Women are condemned for having an abortion, but it is an option and should be an option. Men have no option. It is keep your legs closed or live with the consequences. If you want equality, the next step is giving men options, not removing stigmas from women. Once men and women have the ability to legally abdicate parental obligations, then we need to start talking about destigmatizing it.

      Sexual harassment is a two way street. Men are harassed as much or more than women. Men shrug it off and women cry “objectification”. Just because men are not hysterical over harassment does not mean men don’t face harassment.

      Women are demonstrably more safe than men in every environment in every circumstance. If women FEEL less safe, than it would be worth while to address the FEELINGS, not the risks. Women are at lower risk in every environment in every circumstance.

      Society does not cater to men.

      The whole of feminism is wrong. Foundational ideas like “patriarchy” and “privilege” are wrong. All of feminism is wrong. You don’t need to be a man hating bigoted dyke to hold to misguided and wrong headed concepts like “patriarchy”

  5. I’m not sold on your division of feminism into ‘equality’ and ‘gender’ camps. The ‘brand’ of feminism whose insights I’ve come to most appreciate is the ‘radical’ stripe; and they have little truck with either equality or gender.

    If you’re fascinatted, as your moniker suggests, by gender neutral language – though much of your content appears to mitigate against that – Casey Miller and Katie Swift’s book, Words and Women http://www.amazon.co.uk/Words-Women-Casey-Miller/dp/0385048580/ref=sr_1_15?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1386120240&sr=1-15&keywords=words+and+women is worth picking up. Good price, too.

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