I have been watching Sandman’s Videos On Youtube. Today’s video was very good. The video it’s self was the same quality as most of Sandman’s other videos. He gives reasonable and positive views. The topic of his video was mind blowing. A paper was written about “Lemons” and dishonesty in markets. The Market of “Lemons”:Quality Uncertainty and the Market Mechanism is a must read for anyone that wants to better understand the dating market today.
Sandman does a good job of talking about the paper. I have some slightly different thoughts.
I have noted for some time the radical and dramatic difference in perceived value of relationships between women and men. I have been putting this perceived difference on the actual differences. Relationships are a better deal for women than men. I have not really found this explanation very satisfactory, but I could think of no other explanation. While relationships ARE better for women than men, it was hard to accept that they where that much better for women. If relationships where as excessively lopsided and bias as I perceive them to be it would be an excersize in insanity to pursue them. However half of the population is married. The overwhelming majority of people purse relationships. Some sort of mass insanity is not a very good explanation for why my perceptions varied so much from women’s perspective and happily married men’s perspective.
The Lemon Mechanism described by Akerlof in the paper I linked above does a great job of explaining this in more real rational and understandable was than I have been able to express. It explains why the MGTOW perception of relationships is what it is. It explains why women’s perception of relationships is what it is. It explains the NAWALT arguments. It explains the counters to the NAWALT arguments. It even explains “The Friend Zone” problems. The Market For “Lemons” IS THE MGTOW argument put into much easier to understand economic terms. It talks about Automobiles and Moneylenders not relationships so much of the emotional baggage gets left outside.
I will talk about how this relates to relationships. Not all Women are like that, but some are. People are not homogenous. Some people are harder working some people are more needy. There is a great deal of variation in people between individual people. The perceptions of MGTOW vs the perceptions of Feminists is because of the Lemon Mechanism. There are many wonderful women in the world. Feminists, being mostly women and many in relationships, are not in the dating market looking for women. Given this Feminists are not affected by the Lemon Mechanism. Men are. The women of high quality are not on the dating market. They are already in relationships. This leaves the lower quality women on the dating market. These low quality women are the ones that are the most visible in the dating market. As a man looking for a relationship these are the women that I see. These women are not happily married women attending feminist rallies to protect abortion rights, the women that Feminists see. These women are hanging out in singles clubs look for men to buy them drinks.
The reality isn’t that All Women Are Like That. The reality is that almost all of the women I am exposed to on the dating market are like that. My perception of women in general is shaped not by some view at 30,000 feet but by my view at ground level. All of the women I see regularly are like that, not because all women are like that but because the women that are like that crowd around me trying to get in my wallet.
The growing problem of “The Friend Zone” is again a Lemon Mechanism problem. Men that complain of “The Friend Zone” are not being exposed to all women. They are only getting exposed to women trying to take advantage of them in “The Friend Zone”. As all of the women that are trying to extract wealth from the sucker crowd in on him, they push out the women that are not like that. As more men go MGTOW then the ratio of women to men changes the fewer and fewer men in the dating market are targeted in increasing ways by predatory women. While there are good women that are single and would like a relationship, they are indistinguishable for the predatory women. Not wanting to be seen as predatory the good women just drop out of the dating market much the same way that MGTOW are. This then lead to a greater prevalence of predatory women in the market reinforcing the perception that all women are like that. This leads to more MGTOW that leads men remaining in the market to be bigger targets. This leads to a greater perception of predatory women that leads to more women dropping out. This leads to a greater prevalence of predatory women and more men MGTOW.
Note: I am talking about this as a male from a male perspective and as MGTOW. It is important to note that this exact same Lemon Mechanic is working against women as well. PUA’s target women the same way the predatory women I’m talking about target men. It leads to the same vicious cycle of greater perception of low quality men driving an actual increase in the prevalence of low quality men.
I have no clue what the solution could be. It’s not like we can make laws so that Pump and Dump PUA’s and Bleed them Dry predatory women can be returned to the manufacturer. We can’t socialize relationships the way we can socialize medicine. I see no way to make a “Relationship Ready Certification” work.