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There is something of note with both Feminists and MRA’s.  Both groups do it.  We talk past each other.  We are not even talking at each other.  We need to be talking to each other.  Both MRA’s and Feminists nominally are fighting for the same thing, gender equality.  Much more could be accomplished if we worked together to address gender issues rather than fighting against each other for who gets to play the victim card.

So, to MRA’s.  Feminism has done some really good things.  It took many  of the first steps for gender equality.  It has done wonders for breaking the gender stereotypes for women.  It has changed public discourse and public understanding of women and their abilities.  Feminism played a very significant role in opening up the world of wage slavery to women.  Feminism has done great things to get the intelligence and creativity of women recognized so that women can more fully participate in society.

Now feminists.  MRA’s are fighting for very real issues.  Feminism is not the be all end all of gender equality.  Feminism fights for women.  It has completely ignored the harmful outdated and sexist gender roles of men.  Things really do need to change for the betterment of males.  Men have little to no reproductive rights.  Men are disproportionally represented in all sorts of thing that feminism never talks about.  Homelessness, Workplace deaths, Workplace injuries, Suicide, Homicide, Prison, simple assault, aggravated assault and unemployment.  There are real issues that MRA’s are fighting for.

So what are the problems?  Well both groups have bigots in them.  Both groups have people that are advocating horrible things.  Paul Elam, a notable MRA, penned a post about how we should never convict any one of rape in protest of “rape shield” laws.  This is just sick.  Andria Dworkins published a book saying “All heterosexual sex, even consensual sex, is a man raping a woman”.  Yep if your a man that’s had sex with a woman, even with consent, your a rapist.  This is just sick.  Both sides have bigots.  These bigots really do need to be called out and shouted down.

This is they key point for talking past each other.  Both sides are assuming that the bigots are representative of the whole.  MRA’s become rather shrill over the blatant bias in the family court system.  When MRAs are challenged about their positions surrounding custody, child support and alimony, most assume that the feminist wants to remove men entirely from the lives of children, but still force men to finance children for whom they are nothing but sperm donors.  Men are ATM’s is not the position of feminist.  Similarly Feminists become hysterical over “Victim blaming”.  When feminists are challenged on their positions of “Victim blaming” most assume that the man wants women forced into burkas or that he is claiming victims are somehow “at fault”.

We are talking past each other, trying to shout down the real bigots that really exist on both sides.  We could talk at each other, get the real issues on the table with out ever actually listening to what else is out there.  What we need to do is talk with each other.  Both MRA’s and Feminists are fighting for equality.  If we can get together and talk out the issues so that there is agreement on where inequality really exists and what can be done about it, great things will happen.  If we keep trying to shout each other down, both MRA’s and Feminists will loose.  One of the other factions, one of the factions fighting against equality will then win.

MRA’s and Feminists are both for equality, both for reproductive freedoms.  The religious right is staunchly opposed to reproductive freedoms.  Currently feminism is fighting for reproductive freedoms for women and only women.  MRA’s are fighting for reproductive freedoms for men.  We are seeing the affects of this fight.  Neither MRA’s or Feminists are getting or keeping reproductive freedom.  The religious right is destroying reproductive freedoms for women.  Equality is Equality, but I would much prefer equality in freedom than equality in oppression.