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It is possible to be a feminist and really argue for equality.  It can happen, really it can, I found proof.

There are indisputably ways that women are worse off than men (the reverse is true as well).  There is a huge problem of work life balance that really screws over many women.  Warren Farrell described the problem as both people rowing the left side of a row boat.  You will just go around in circles.  Women, being the only ones allowed to row on the right hand side, have in large part been trying to pull double duty.  This means most women fail.

Most feminist see this problem as a great opportunity to attack men.  What horrible people men are for still being confined to outdated and dogmatic gender roles.  Men need to be further restricted into even more dogmatic and outdated gender roles!!!!  Errr, wait, no,  But it’s men’s fault anyways!!!

Sometimes you do find a gem 12 Things Successful Women Do Differently is one such gem.  I’m very much for give credit where credit is due, and this deserves notice.  It is written by a woman for women about women.  The message is clear.  If YOU want to be successful, YOU need to change.  There isn’t even a hint of male bashing in this article.

11 of the 12 points are for women about women.  Men don’t even enter into the equation for 11/12 of the things that make women successful or failures.  The one point that men are considered in is marriage.  A good marriage, or no marriage, is important for success.  This is very true, and it’s presented in a way that doesn’t demean men.  It is not the man’s obligation to be the 2nd in the relationship, supporting the carrier of his wife.  It is the woman’s obligation to find a man that will be happy in a supporting role.

I very much like the tone and message.  It is a woman’s responsibility to insure her own success.  If she is failing, it is because she is doing something wrong.  These are some of the big things women do wrong, so if you a woman and failing, you can correct yourself.

If you want to be a feminist, and for equality at the same time, this is how it’s done.  Tell women how to be better people, and leave men out of it.

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